What our Dreams are made of...

As I lie here next to my little Maya Papaya while she sleeps, I cannot help but allow my mind to race in the quiet of the night. Classical music is playing in the background-as always- and she has one hand resting on me-just like every other night. I think she enjoys the feel of someone close. As do I. That's why I do not mind sleeping right next to her every night. (Don't tell Dr Mehta!!! 😁) I love the sound of her each little breath, the feel of her hand finding my hand or arm or face to rest against, the smiles as she is obviously consumed in some amazing dream. 

Dreams. 

I tell her how much I adore her. I tell her how beautiful she is and how absolutely perfect God made her for me! I tell her I wouldn't change a thing about her-only things that could be easier for her. But as far as her? I wouldn't change a thing. The absolute purest love pours through her eyes and grin at me every single day. She has already taught me more about love in 5 months than what I've figured out in almost 30 years. Hers is so pure and so unique and worth every tear and worry and change I have had to make since September 5. It's been worth every moment.

Dreams. 

I have such big dreams for her! I know she's going to soar! She's going to spread her beautiful, perfectly unique wings one day and fly so high that she will never go unnoticed. I dream of her best friend first being God, then her big sissy, Mallory. Maya watches her every single move, laughs and grins at her basically nonstop, and gives her the best slobbery kisses you could ever dream of having! Maya has the most amazing big sis, and I dream of Mal always holding Maya's hand through this life and being there for her every step of the way. I dream of her becoming so many amazing things and showing this world just who she is in Christ! 

Dreams. 

Your little breaths are deeper now and I know you're sleeping peacefully. I just wonder as she smiles, what are her dreams right now? What amazing show is God displaying for her as she rests for the night? Are her Angels keeping her entertained with music and dancing? Or is she replaying something silly that sissy did during the day and cannot help but giggle in her sleep at her Mal she loves so much. Is she dreaming of real food that looks so much better than her milk? Or is God Himself singing her a lullaby? 

Dreams. 

We each have them. They're what keep us alive and encourage us to look forward to what is to come. They motivate our souls to do the unthinkable and achieve the few things that eventually help define who we want to become. They're the beautiful reminder that we are actually in control of what we want in life and what we will fight to get. They're the one thing we should never lose for if we do, life would become rather bleak and meaningless. 

Hold fast to your dreams, my loves. 

<3 Rachel 

It's midnight. The girls are asleep and quite frankly, I know I should be too. Only an hour left before Maya's next feed. But I have lots to do! The dishes are stacked a mile high. The laundry was never switched to the dryer, which means I will most likely be rewashing the same load tomorrow. Toys, books, burp cloths, and all diaper changing needs are lying in the living room, as they have all day. And the biggest mess of all is still on the kitchen table-my five year olds' "cupcakes" she concocted earlier today, which consisted of flour, lots of food coloring, berry applesauce, all topped with a pistachio. There's so much to do. And I couldn't be happier.
Typically, I would feel so overwhelmed by so many things. Lately, I have been trying my best to just live in the moment, especially each beautiful moment God gives me with my two girls. So instead of laundry, we played Candy Land, which Mal has learned to stack the deck and beat me EVERY game! Instead of dishes, we read books and sang to our baby Maya. Instead of worrying about the flour that was flying through the air, or the pan of rather runny "cupcakes" that beckoned me to clean, I allowed her imagination to blossom as I danced with Maya and soaked in her smiles. And instead of napping when the baby did? I taught Mallory a few cheers so she would be game ready to hang with the high schoolers tomorrow.
There's so much to do here. And I'm thankful for every mess. Chances are, those messes are still going to be waiting for me tomorrow. And chances are, they can just keep waiting....

<3 Rachel